Avoiding Personal Injury Due To Fantastic 4 Failure
Alright, so last week we discussed how baseball games are winding up for a fastball pitch by using computerized video systems in their games. We could make a pun about striking out at this moment, but that’s low hanging fruit. J. Price McNamara and the rest of his personal injury attorney staff here in Baton Rouge, LA can do better than that.
So let’s veer away from boring topics like new fangled video systems in baseball games and focus on an issue that really needs to be discussed: The unyielding colossal junkyard fire that is 2015’s Fantastic 4 and how going to see this movie may raise your chances of needing a personal injury attorney.
Let us explain.
A Memorable Movie Experience
Now, there is a reason we are posting an article about this film, and its contents come from personal experience. Just last Friday we ventured out into the wide world of moviegoers and partook in what can only be described as a memorable movie experience.
When we say memorable, we ask that you comb through your memory bank to see if you can recall ever seeing a large pile of tires being burned in a junk yard or on a barge. The smoke, the smell, all of it is terrible yet you can’t look away as you’ve never seen anything quite like it.
Fantastic 4 is 2015’s giant mound of burning tires.
How to Avoid Personal Injury If You Are Determined to See The Film
By the end of Fantastic 4 you may be so dumbfounded by the level of failure that’s achieved in each of the two minute long fight scenes this “action packed” movie boasts, we fear your wits may momentarily take leave.
That being said, we have a few suggestions which may help you escape this movie unscathed and needing nothing more than a shower and a good nights sleep. Paying to see Fantastic 4 may not be your proudest moment, but gosh darn it, we’re gonna make sure you come out the other side with your head hung low and a story to tell.
Wear a Helmet. High Chances of Hurled Objects From The Audience
Let’s take a moment to look at some of our favorite cringe-worthy quotes from this film.
Sue Storm: “You want to be famous?”
Reed Richards: “I just want my work to make a difference.”
At this point in time, which is about twenty minutes into the film, you may want to make sure the straps on your helmet are fastened firmly in their places because folks, there’s going to be some turbulence ahead.
Dr. Franklin Storm: “With every new discovery, there is risk, but we are stronger together than we are apart.”
Try clench your jaw too hard, we’re not sure on the legalities of personal injuries to the mouth caused by film dialog. However, rest assured we feel your pain.
Ben Grimm: “Don’t let any of these lab coats give you any crap, alright?”
Reed Richards: “Well, if they do I know who to call. The muscle.”
God help us. Watch for flying cups.
Victor Von Doom: “You’ve opened a door you don’t know how to close. You don’t know anything about what’s coming.”
Reed Richards: “What is coming?”
Victor Von Doom: “Doom!”
At this point and time, it is advised to make your way to the nearest exit and leave, as the movie only gets worse from this point on. There is no redemption, only terrible dialog and ruined careers.
If by any chance you choose to be brave and stay, then end up getting punched in the face when the person next to you strikes out blindly in a fit of frustration then call us here at the Law Offices of J. Price McNamera. We’ll do what we can but just know… we warned you.
Until next time readers, be safe at the theater and Godspeed.
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